Confessions of a Therapist II
the rules of therapy
1. Be present, always. Don’t let your mind wander because the client will know and think you don’t care about them.
2. Lead them to the answer, but don’t give it to them. If you tell them, they won’t listen. But you have to know the answer.
3. Show you care, but don’t care too much. You can never care more than the client does about their change.
4. People are more comfortable when they know you. So make sure you share with the client, but also make sure you never share too much. Everything you share about your personal life needs to be in the name of helping them.
5. Take it all in so that the client always knows you’re there with them and truly empathize with what they are sharing, but you better have firm boundaries so you don’t actually take it all in.
6. You can cry if you want to…but limit it to only a tear or two. The client can’t be worried about helping you regulate.
7. Listen to what they say, but more importantly dissect everything they don’t.
8. You’re the expert in the room, but don’t let people feel like you have power over them. That will make them less likely to be vulnerable.
9. Do more because there aren’t enough professionals out there. So take the additional clients, the shitty insurance payouts, the sacrifice to your own health. You got in this field to help, right?
10. You can’t share anything you hear, even when you’re drowning in emotions and negative energy. Keep it to yourself. Always.
11. Balance the names, the events, the places, the timelines of countless people and make sure you don’t mix them up.
12. Take care of yourself or you’ll burnout, but there aren’t many resources to help you…you’ll have to figure that out on your own time (as if you have any of that).
13. You are a professional with extensive training and education, so charge what you’re worth. But…then everyone will hate you because it’s too expensive and they can’t afford it. Then you get to feel like shit because you’re in this field to help others, not make a profit.